"I'm a misandrist!": How to silence a mansplainer
from a girl who was stuck talking to one last night
Step 1. Leave them in the dust
On a real one, the entrapment of a lovely lady (by a philosophy bro of some kind) is a common occurrence. You may find yourself content, enjoying the company of your friends heading aimlessly for the bar, when, out of the woodwork pops (invades) a man. Enter, the philosophy bro. The common theme with the philosophy bro is not necessarily that he studies philosophy, to be quite honest, the only criteria needed is that he thinks he is deep, unique, and most importantly, more intelligent than you. The other, is that he will, (in as many condescending ways as possible), try to convey this by talking to you until you have literally no other option but to come up with an insane excuse to leave; “sorry my cat just threw himself off of a building, he landed on his feet but he told my neighbour if I don’t come immediately to check on him he’ll sue me for negligence”.
Funnily enough, whenever a man is trying to exert their so called “intelligence”, they tend to demonstrate their incompetence. Most recently, (last night at 1am), I was having a drink with some friends when my brother said he could pick me up if and only if we grab a quick drink at a local pub before heading home, (I was in dire need of a free lift - mama’s broke). I accepted the offer and sat silently at the edge of the male centred table, EAGER to get home. Unfortunately for me, the philosophy bro tends to sense any self-assured woman nearby, particularly those who have absolutely 0 desire to talk to them. They then go in for the kill - insisting on having some sort of intellectual self-asserting conversation on whatever topic you’ve just mentioned you know a lot about, or simply, that you enjoy… to then disagree with whatever you’ve just said even though they have little understanding of said topic.
He looked genuinely surprised when I told him I studied philosophy at master’s level. Perhaps he had never met a woman before, it’s hard to say. In an attempt to play off his immediate inferiority complex, he proceeded to list a number of obscure and non-mainstream french philosophers. I sat there, nodding along, praying he would eventually stop talking. When he realised I’d heard of some of his non-mainstream favourites, he began to spat out utter disbelief; “wow! no way! i’m so shocked an intelligent woman who has in fact studied this subject for 5 years knows even a portion of my intellectually snob-filled I think I’m so clever hobby!” He then proceeded to tell me the surprisingly and often sited ‘bro saying’: “yeah, yeah, no, I mean, I was gonna do a masters AND a PhD in philosophy actually… but i just chose not to because of money haha”. Sir, sit your ass down. You did an english degree (no tea no shade i love english girlies… but he’s a man [lol] and also this is just not directly related to a phd in a completely different discipline).
Over the years I’ve tried a number of different things to try to scare them away (please watch the love witch btw). I tended to drive the nod and vacant stare into overkill but sadly, they just seemed to keep going. Until last night, when I pulled out the misandrist card. Now this, this, worked like a treat. Ladies, the one thing even the philosophy bros start to quiver at is the self proclaimed, and self-assured misandrist. For those of you who don’t know, this is the woman who hates men, and yes, it has a wonderful name, and no, it is NOT the same as misogyny - why? because we have a legitimate reason to feel upset or to dislike men. His response began with, “but surely you want everyone to work together?”, well, yes, but this conversation was one of the prime examples of being a woman who is qualified and immediately being dismissed by a male to make himself feel better, or weirdly, to try to woo you in the least effective way possible. I proceeded to firm my belief, “yes, I think, being a woman, you understand the importance of female-centred community. Whilst we are still feeling the disappointing and murderous consequences of the patriarchy, I think it is MORE than acceptable to dislike men.” Funnily enough, the conversation dried up and he realised his inferiority (which he was so desperately trying to mask) wasn’t going to work on the misandrist who, no matter how ‘clever you are’ won’t like you as much as any woman they might meet ;)
I’ve encountered a lot of these men, especially whilst studying philosophy (a very male-centred field - with a lot of male-focused reading) for a number of years. The bro’s who study philosophy are admittedly worse, this is partially because having a qualification in the subject means they can insert it into conversation as some sort of by-fact credibility… “yah so, like, it’s just logic though. you’re wrong because I got a 71 on my essay on Nietzsche’s western influence”… Which is, admittedly more frustrating because sometimes philosopher’s can use “there is no right answer” to use large words and twist any conversation to assert their own opinion (which is usually incel-fuelled).
Feminist philosophers, I just want to take the time to say god bless u all and thank GOD it’s a safe space here.
Now, girlypops, ladies, my beauties, I would love to hear your stories about being mansplained to. We’ve literally ALL been there. Peace and love my beauties, peace and love.
Kat x
